And now for something completely different...thank you Nate...
I know that you may be considering the use of synthetic oil in your bikes. But you really should Very cautious of synthetic oil! It can do terrible things both to you, and to your bike. Synthetic oil will not only leak out of your engine faster than you can put it in, but it will also cause your oil filter to clog and implode, dumping debris and dirt into your lubrication system. It also will make every part of your bike permanently slippery because of its linear molecular chain dispersion action.
Then it will leak onto your kickstand causing it to retract automatically and without warning, dropping your bike flat on the rocky ground! But that's not all . . . . Synthetic oil will round off your gears and spin your bearings. Synthetic oil will also splatter onto your seat causing your girlfriend to fall off in the apex of a turn and then she will never ride with, or sleep with, you again. Synthetic oil coats your oil sight window with a whitish pro-emulsification additive that is both non-removable and highly corrosive. Synthetic oil will completely leak out onto the ground overnight, force your favorite dog to drink it at gunpoint, and he will then die a slow horrible writhing death.
Synthetic oil will wear out your tires and make your battery leak. It will give you the desperate need to urinate after you put your full leathers on and then jam all your zippers shut. Synthetic oil will contaminate your gasoline causing your bike to stall on railroad tracks and accelerate uncontrollably near police cars. Synthetic oil will make it rain during rallies and on every weekend. It will causing your cam drive to jump teeth and break your valves to bits. Synthetic oil chemically weakens desmodromic valves and causes the clearances to change every sixteen miles. Then it melts the black soles of your riding boots night before you walk across your new carpeting.
While riding past groups of attractive women it will cause both of your handlebar grips to slip off at the same time so you smash your windscreen with the bridge of your nose. It also causes your swingarm to crack, your studs to break, and your rotors to warp. Synthetic oil then voids your warranty by changing your odometer reading to 55,555 overnight. It also dries out your wet clutch and wets your dryclutch. It makes your clutch cable or slave cylinder seal fail in the heaviest traffic on the hottest day of the year while putting an angry wasp in your helmet for good measure.
Synthetic oil hides your 13mm socket and puts superglue on your earplugs. Synthetic oil will scratch your face shield and make your gloves shrink two sizes the night before track day. Synthetic oil will then steal your neutral and sell it for $1.25.
So let's be careful out there
