Big lifestyle changes, AKA Fostering

johnnyontherocks

johnnyontherocks

The Cosmic Avenger
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Well as most of you know I had left the working world about a year and a half ago to pursue my BS in Education. Now as fewer of you know about 6 months ago my wife had become dead set on us becoming Foster parents for a local children in need group. This is not something that I was ambitious about and the additional financial burden meat that school had come to a end and I have entered unsuccessfully the current job market. I was really hoping the wife was going to wait for me to find employment before taking on the added responsibilities. Well Friday we received our first Foster child. She is 7 and a total handful. She came from another foster family that needed a break. The weekend went fine and I guess today the honeymoon was over. Since she goes to school out side of our school district so I have to drop her off and pick her up each day. Today she refused to go to school and also refused to listen to a single thing I had to say. My lord I wanted to pull my hair out. As a foster parent the is not a lot of options available in disciplining a child, try to out wit a stubborn 7 year old who has reduced her replies to "no" and "shut up". I took me 5 hours to get us back to civility. I hope I find the rewarding experience in this, I really do.

Please say a prayer for me
 
Hey Johnny, God Bless You brother! It's so easy to just forget about these children and let the state worry about them, but it's really hard to stand up and say that your going to try and make a change in his or her life. The only thing I could say is that when your looking to pull your hair out again, just walk a few steps in that child's shoes. They've been unloved and tossed around from family to family and have bottled up a ton of emotion in that time. They probably aren't used to having someone be kind to them. Give it some time buddy. Patience is everything. Hopefully you both will have a "breakthrough" soon enough when they realize that your feelings are genuine, and that you do care.:cheers:
 
Johnny, this is a big undertaking as you already know. It's going to take a lot of patience and "figuring out" to understand how to read this child. She's "been there done that" and likely isn't happy about being moved once again. The best you can do is use rewards and consequences and make her feel wanted and loved. Shower her with kindness and she's bound to soften.

I'd say good luck but this is going to take more than luck.

Prayers included.
 
My wife Wendy was a foster care worker for the state before pursuing her Master's in Mental Health. These kids are a handful that is true, But they have come from a long hard life of disappointment. Once they can feel acceptance and belonging they change drastically for the better. I will pray for you and your wife and may God bless you for being available to these kids.
 
John, I do not have much advice to offer with taking on a foster child as I have no experience with that. I am sure you will face some big challenges ahead, having a child is a major adjustment period. I wish you and Renee the best of luck and I hope things will settle down soon for all with the big changes.
 
I admire what you two are doing but I'm going to go across the grain and say that while, noble, your wife should have waited until you finished school and perhaps secured a job. Everyone, including your foster child, would be better off. You're a better man than me and I salute you.
 
T84A said:
I admire what you two are doing but I'm going to go across the grain and say that while, noble, your wife should have waited until you finished school and perhaps secured a job. Everyone, including your foster child, would be better off. You're a better man than me and I salute you.
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:ditto:

All the best of luck. As a father of 4 (19y-17y-2x1.6y) I can imagine the challenges, but far from long to realize how hard it can be to "manage" a foster child. I wish you all the best and good luck and lot's of patience...

Tell your wife that everytime you're in the situation that you feel like "pulling hair out", you will get out on the bike that day for a ride to relax, no matter what.
 
Wow, my own 5 yr old son and 7 yr old daughter make me want to pull my hair out enough as it is...

Like Pete said, Hats off to you Johnny! Your a good man for doing that! And Hats off to your wife too!!!
 
Props, that is a huge investment of time you just signed up for. Hopefully you are able to provide a stable and loving home for years to come for the little one.

And hopefully they grow to appreciate it in time.
 
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