Norm
Wizard
One Doberman "Pup."
3 days short of his 7 month old birthday he weighs in at 80 pounds and can reach tall out of the way places in a single bound.
He's cute, if your idea of cute is an Orca head full of razor sharp teeth and a torpedo titanium clad body.
Seeing is believing, although to this dog smelling is believing. His olfactory senses and long sharp snout are used to identify all humans obviating your need for a colonoscopy.
He's good with other pets and small children if they're used to playing the roll of a bowling pin. He's fond of crashing into them at 20 MPH.
He eats roughy ten pounds of food a day but retains about one pound. The rest goes, well you know where. Hefty "outdoors" trash bags work nicely. Traditional "doggie bags don't work. Don't ask how I know this but I now know what a manicure using steel wool feels like. A tractor with a front loader or backhoe is ideal.
He likes licking his owner and his sandpaper tongue replaces the need of quadruple edged razors.
Doggie toys for him should preferably be made out of wrought iron or lead.
For in between snacks he likes to nibble on pit bulls and cats.
Has tremendous carpenter skills and works in two genres: rustic and primitive. No tools necessary and he is ready to begin work immediately and can be recompensed in peanut butter.
Busy Bones from PetCo do work. They keep YOU busy running back and forth to the store while he finishes them in 2 bites.
Oh what the heck. I guess I'll keep him. Somehow I still love him. I guess if you were married to my ex-wife you'd find him quite a sweetheart.
3 days short of his 7 month old birthday he weighs in at 80 pounds and can reach tall out of the way places in a single bound.
He's cute, if your idea of cute is an Orca head full of razor sharp teeth and a torpedo titanium clad body.
Seeing is believing, although to this dog smelling is believing. His olfactory senses and long sharp snout are used to identify all humans obviating your need for a colonoscopy.
He's good with other pets and small children if they're used to playing the roll of a bowling pin. He's fond of crashing into them at 20 MPH.
He eats roughy ten pounds of food a day but retains about one pound. The rest goes, well you know where. Hefty "outdoors" trash bags work nicely. Traditional "doggie bags don't work. Don't ask how I know this but I now know what a manicure using steel wool feels like. A tractor with a front loader or backhoe is ideal.
He likes licking his owner and his sandpaper tongue replaces the need of quadruple edged razors.
Doggie toys for him should preferably be made out of wrought iron or lead.
For in between snacks he likes to nibble on pit bulls and cats.
Has tremendous carpenter skills and works in two genres: rustic and primitive. No tools necessary and he is ready to begin work immediately and can be recompensed in peanut butter.
Busy Bones from PetCo do work. They keep YOU busy running back and forth to the store while he finishes them in 2 bites.
Oh what the heck. I guess I'll keep him. Somehow I still love him. I guess if you were married to my ex-wife you'd find him quite a sweetheart.
